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The Modern Man - A Model of Contradictions

By HealthLife Contributor
Updated: June 27, 2008
In a world where gender roles are actively changing, it is difficult to pinpoint exactly what an individual wants out of a relationship. Very often, relationships are driven by misconceptions and preconceived notions. Most of the time, people think they know what others want only to discover they actually want something else. Relationships built this way tend to be over before they even get started.

Though women may know what they want in a man, they are often misled as to what a man wants in a woman. Many times, their idea of what a man really wants is based more on what society tells them, then on what they have discovered themselves. Today, men are struggling to find themselves in a society that tells them to be one way in certain situations, and another way in other situations. This problem translates directly into the world of relationships, where both men and women have difficulties deciding who and how they really want to be.

Without any further delay, here is what the modern man really wants - we think:

• Men are looking for love - point blank. The idea that all men are dogs, and are just out looking to have some fun is not always the case. The truth is that men want to find someone to love, as well as someone who will love them back, but their reputation has made it difficult for most women to believe that.

• Men are interested in women for their looks. This however does not mean they are all looking to be with Jessica Alba. Men want a woman who is attractive to them according to their opinions and standards. One thing is certain though, men do want a woman who takes the time to care for her appearance.

• Men want a woman they can trust. Today's men want a woman who is not going live by a double standard. Flirting at a party or at work might be an innocent act for us gals, but imagine if the shoe was on the other foot? Trust has to be a two-way street.
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• Men want a woman who is willing to contribute. There is a term for a woman who does not contribute to a relationship: single. A man wants a woman who will add to the person who he already is by introducing him to new things, from new places to eat to new places to party.

• Men want women who like to and know how to laugh and have a good time. Uptight women are hard to introduce, and most men have a difficult time bringing them around to social events and gatherings. A man wants to feel comfortable knowing that the woman he is with is enjoying herself around his friends and family.

• Men want to date women. A man is a man and a woman is a woman. Not every man finds a woman who farts and burps to be attractive. If a man wanted that, he might as well decide to date his drinking buddies.

• Men want a woman who will support them, not financially but emotionally. Too many times, women complain that their man is not supportive of their work or their interests so much that they forget that their man needs that same kind of support from them.

• Men love a challenge - it's why they play sports so much and why they cry at the end of Rudy. Men are looking for a woman who will constantly keep them striving to be the best at something. Once a man feels like a challenge has been met, he will usually relax and start feeling secure. Despite the comfort, this is not what they want. They want to be kept on their toes.

• Men want a woman who will share in his interests too. While a woman will most often expect a man to do all of the things she likes and enjoys, a man really appreciates a woman who will try something new that he likes. It shows him that she's as serious as he is.

Despite what the list might say though, there is no exact formula that tells us what a man really wants. In fact, the best advice (besides what is presented above) is to be aware that each man is different in what he like and what he dislikes. What does this mean for us women, it means we too have to take the time to get to know him, the way we want him to do with us.
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