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Healthy Sex, Healthy Marriage

By HealthLife Contributor
Updated: January 05, 2009
There are a few certainties in life, including death, taxes, and bad sex during marriage. Although there is nothing that can be done about the first two, there are some things that can be done to make sure that the sexual spark between a couple burns bright throughout their marriage.

Keeping the passion in a relationship going is not an easy thing to do. With work, children, health issues, and everything else that comes with marriage and ageing, it is no wonder why most married couples or future married couples wonder what will eventually become of their sexual relationship.

As people age, they develop a multitude of health problems that often carry over to the bedroom. Sexual dysfunction, heart conditions, even arthritis and rheumatism are all conditions that can have a negative effect on a couple's sexual relationship. This makes a healthy sexual relationship that much more important, especially since a healthy sexual relationship can actually decrease an individual's chance of having heart problems or becoming depressed.

It is a known fact that people have less sex as they age. This is true of people who are married or single. Some statistics indicate that young married couples have sex more than 100 times a year, while older couples aged 70 and up have sex a little more than once a month. This drop-off in sexual activity does not necessarily mean that the individuals and couples are dissatisfied with sex. Though they are having sex less often, each encounter is still seen as extremely satisfying.

Consider the following tips to keep the sexual spark in your relationship:

  1. Get over the emotional blocks - Sometimes the root of sexual problems is more emotional than it is physical. The fast pace of today's life, coupled with lack of communication between couples and an inability to prioritize all work to bring any sexual relationship to a quick and sudden halt. To help deal with these blockages, couples should address unresolved personal issues and conflicts, consider what is truly important in their lives and make time for it, communicate by speaking and listening, and generally an genuinely taking the time to let each other know that your "in the mood".
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  1. Deal with and address physical sexual problems. Sexual dysfunction was long thought to be a psychological problem. Recently though, experts have discovered that it is indeed more of a physical issue than anything else. Sexual dysfunction of any kind is usually the main reason why relationships go sour. Although during youth, sexual dysfunction is more of a psychological issue, the problem becomes more physical as men age. Today, men have choices as to how they choose to address any sexual dysfunction they may be suffering from, including medications and medical procedures. The important thing is for men to take the time to schedule and meet with a doctor so that a small problem does not become a major issue.
  1. Women suffer too - Sexual dysfunction is not just an issue with men. In fact, issues like vaginal lubrication and reduced blood flow can make sex an issue for many older women. There are solutions to these issues as well, including dietary changes and traditional hormone replacement therapy.
In addition to dealing with the physical and emotional problems that arise with age that can affect a couple's sexual relationship, there are a few other measures that couples can take to make sure that their relationship stays passionate and fulfilling, despite what life, mother nature, or society throws at them. Consider the following suggestions in addition to what has already been discussed. Every little bit helps right?

    • Plan a date night and try something new.
    • Be romantic when you shouldn't have to or when your partner least expects it.
    • Ask your partner what he or she "wants done" during sex.
    • Stay fit, both for you and for your partner.
    • Keep your sex life in perspective - know that there will be peaks and valleys.
    • Take your time before, during, and after sex.
    • Work out together.
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