10. Ask your partner's advice. Directly soliciting input from
your partner when they have expertise or experience in an area in which you are
struggling is not only a smart use of resources, it will make your partner feel
great too!
11. Maintain physical boundaries. Your partner's body does not
belong to you, so commenting on his or her shape, eating habits or exercise patterns
will only lead to conflict. It makes sense to encourage good health and good self
care, but lead by your example rather than haranguing.
12. Observe diligent self care. Make caring for your own physical
health a priority by getting regular check-ups and dental checks, and the preventative
health screenings (for example, mammograms or prostate assessments) recommended
for your age group.
13. Maintain physical contact. Schedule time not only for sex but
also cuddling (or better yet, both around the same time). Keep the bedroom a sacred
and safe place by refusing to use it as a space to hash out problems or discuss
child rearing difficulties.
14. Keep community. Just like we would not expect to eat only one
food and have all our nutritional needs met, we can't expect any one person
to serve every function in our life. Keep involved in outside interests and outside
friends, and work to not socialize only as a couple.
15. Remember big things are little things in relationships. Use every
small opportunity to make your spouse feel loved and appreciated. Display physical
affection, send a three line email from work that has nothing to do with household
logistics, text message the words "I love you" when they might need
a reminder.
Great relationships are built on these tiny daily acts of loving heroism. They create
a strong foundation to see you through the rocky times and make the good times even
more enjoyable.